SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
