This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
