do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
