The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Congratulations! We have a period
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
