He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
