Where is the hickey?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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