yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
