haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
