Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
