girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
