I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
