Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
