you guys were way drunker than both of me
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
