god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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