im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
