He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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