I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
