Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize