i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
