I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize