I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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