Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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