Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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