ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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