New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
