all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
