I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
