He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
