Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize