Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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