Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
