THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
