This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Randomize
