My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
