I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
