i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
