I'm so fucking centered right now
I love black thongs
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
