I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
