I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize