super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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