Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
