saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
