Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize