Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize