Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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