I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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