my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
