sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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