A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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