Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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