She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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