i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
