we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize