they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
