pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize