I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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