Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
