she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
last night I used snow as a chaser
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