I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Even my vagina gasped.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
