hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
