my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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