He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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