You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
