dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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