Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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