Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
