Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
