Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
