ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
