This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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