no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
