gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
