More tranny stories later!
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
