I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
